So another week went by.
I have yet to find a job. Hoping for a part time clinic assistant posting to show up. I cant continue to rot at home. Planned a whole lot of traveling but everything could be done only with money. Oh geez.
Worked at the shop yesterday. 6 hours of mind numbing fun. LOL I like being confined to small spaces, I think. I don't feel claustrophobic.. Weird isn't it. I feel like I could think because my thoughts are all compressed. Weird weird weird. That prolly describes how I have been feeling for a while. I hate going out acting all happy because I really am not. I just wanna wallow in sorrow and self pity. My dad always tells me not to be idealistic. Idealism comes with expectations and failure. He got his wish. My heart feels heavy, my head feels dizzy, my eyes feels the strain. I feel absolutely hollow, my soul has flown the co-op.
I keep telling myself I want to get over it, and I will get over it. It just takes a bloody long time. I wish I could just chuck the emotional baggage at the door.
I just cant see the fucking light.
Carina
10:17:00 AM
