Am taking a break in the midst of cramming for my MSM exam at this ungodly hour. Alright, not that late yet.
Can one feel panicky, nervous yet excited all at once? I am not talking about the papillons. I am panicky because of the time constraint left for mugging. Nervous because i have no clue what the exam papers will entail. Which reminded me of a conversation i had with Will earlier on. Luck is a huge factor when it comes to exam questions. With my recently acquired clover leaf pendant, lets hope luck will work for me in this aspect. Yeah, i am THAT desperate.
I am also excited because i am going to attempt the papers soon. Sometimes, i hate moments of anticipation, waiting for the crunch. Exam wise.
Time check:12.14am
I woke up after a nightmare which involved me getting hurt. The masochism has got to stop, geez. Left hand was numb. Probably due to my " prezel" sleeping position. Watched some tv with dad, lunch and mugged. There arent any dark clouds. Everything seems amazingly clear. My thoughts, myself and everything else. Quiet is good. Focus is good.
Good night everyone.
Carina
12:06:00 AM
A degree is just a degree. Some people want it as a safety net, some want it to gain better prospects and some couldnt be bothered with it. " So what? Its just a degree. No big deal," they said. We live in a world where outcomes are more important than the process itself. " I dont care how you do it as long as you get it done," is a line i hear often.
But it is a fucking big deal. Everyone might be awarded the same certification but the value that one holds of it differs greatly.
We are talking about a guy who took on the odds to make it happen. Like many of his peers, he was on the JC route to university. I could remember vividly that he came home, disrupted over an A Levels paper. That side of him was new to me. Long story short, he didnt do well enough to qualify for the entry to university.
Like many of my friends, he could have gone on to a polytechnic but no. He chose to enrol himself in a CI. Starting over from scratch again. He mugged like he was born to do it. Not only did he achieved good results that gained him a place in the local university, he applied and got a Teaching Award as well.
So here we are. 3 years later. My brother has done it. He is going to graduate this year and start a new chapter of his life.
A degree is not just a degree to him. It is the result of tears, hardwork, endless nights of cramming and dealing with deadlines. It is the fruit of labour. Its a testament of strength and growth.
For my parents, who never had the chance for higher education, the degree is a reflection of them. It also stands for all the opportunities they never have.
For me? It is a lesson. It is alright to go thru detours. When you get to where you want to be, it will be worth it. When life throws you curve balls, you can survive it and move on to get what you want.
To all my friends who are graduating this year, celebrate and enjoy! This is your moment!
To my brother, we couldnt be more proud of you. Congratulations! We love you!
Carina
12:16:00 AM
on Thursday, May 25, 2006
So many things to do and so little time.
Caught the sneaks for X-Men: The Last Stand.
Do you like what you are born with? Would you blend in with the crowd or would you keep your individuality? Are you tolerant?
His wings are magnificent. I like his ability of flight.
Hugh Jackman. Need i say more? lol Nah, i like how his character reacts to an emotional conflict in the movie.
Jean Grey ( Famke Janssen) is just so hot. Buying a ticket just to watch her is worth it if you dont like X-Men.
Arent we all mutants one way or the other?
Carina
11:11:00 AM
Just how far will you go to impress someone? ( Yes, im talking about you. HA HA HA) The length one goes to in order to impress. Even when you dont know that person for long. *sigh* Let the games begin.
*****
Studying is driving me nuts. To divert the focus, i did something crazy today.
*****
I forgive but i wont forget. Thats just me.
Carina
10:14:00 PM
on Saturday, May 20, 2006
I am in love with JB! Yes, we have all read how seedy certain areas are and pirated dvds are easily available anywhere like mama shops but oh well.... Singapore has Geylang and hmmm Annabel Chong?? Nah, Annabel Chong should be regarded as a role model. Dont screw with her. She will screw you right back. Anyhow, i love love love JB!
Afforable karaoke session with a top notch system in an extremely clean environment. Cheap movie tickets and delicious food (Sedap)!!! I love JB!
Thanks folks! I had a great time!I love JB!
I agree with ya. Character is way too important. Finding someone with a good character or personality is tough enough. Finding a character that suits you is like looking for a needle in the haysack. You can be a looker but whats the point? If i want an ornament, i can buy one. A pretty face isnt a get out of jail card. You will be stuck in the hollow.
Carina
12:08:00 AM
on Thursday, May 18, 2006
"Some people are settling down, some people are just settling and some people refuse to settle for anything but butterflies."
Go on and fly.
Carina
11:55:00 PM
I walked out of the exam hall feeling like crap. For the past 2 years, the aftermath of taking econs paper would be shitty for me. The subject seems to be easy for some people but not me. Such an irony. To think i am a business student.
The first thing i did after leaving the hall was to call my mom.
Mom: How was the paper?
Me: Mom, *sigh* cant do it. It was bad.
Mom: We will see how it goes. Concentrate on the others for now.
Thats my mother. She always encourage me to make the best choices for my life and if i screw up, she will be the safety net. I wish i know how to make better choices. Graduating is crucial. She has been slogging so hard for so long. She has been giving and i have been taking. Its time for the roles to be reversed. I wish i could be a better daughter.
No use crying over spilled milk. I have to pull myself together to handle the other papers.
Carina
9:41:00 PM
Less than 24hours to my first paper and im down with fever.
On a different note, this is very amusing.
I didnt reply. I like the idea of using Friendster to keep track of my friends but i dont like the idea of making new friends thru it. To all the guys who think that every girl you send a random msg to is obliged to reply you, well think again.
Today... i received this.
What a classic.
Carina
8:12:00 PM
Thanks Chrystal.
The Leo Woman: July 23 - August 22
by Susan Miller
A Leo woman is easy to spot. She's the one lighting up the room in her spectacular designer outfit--Leo women love to make an entrance. Her taste is superb and unfailing. Like chic French women (France is ruled by Leo), a lioness would rather have one dazzling outfit than 20 cheap ones. She has a deep and abiding need for respect from others and will work hard to being noticed and remembered. She is naturally extravagant--don't even try to tell her she spends too much on clothes (or on her kids either, who she loves to pamper). Yet she is warm, spontaneous and creative too, and you are sure to have fun with this vivacious lioness. Your Challenge
In a nutshell, your challenge will be to afford this jewel of a woman. Her taste is superb and she won't settle for second best (which she translates as second rate). She will be demanding, so be prepared to lavish lots of attention on her instead of being preoccupied with your spreadsheets or waxing your car. If you are serious about her, bite the bullet and get some personal help. You will need to maximize your efficiency at home and the office to devote time to your lioness--at least until you win her heart.
How To Handle Her
In all probability she will be handling you, not the other way around! Leo women have a way of being in control, even if they let you think that is not the case. She's subtle, but strong. She resists any kind of confinement, so don't try to box her in. Throughout courtship, the Leo woman loves to tease her man, often playing cat-and-mouse games until you "catch" her. When wed, she will do anything in her power to keep things lively and fun, and will build up an entire wardrobe of imported lingerie to keep her man interested. The Leo woman loves to have her lover run his fingers through her mane. She will rarely go to bed without a touch of makeup, even if it's just a hint of blush or scented body creme. To increase her passion, whisper to her, "You are the most beautiful woman in the world!" . . . and mean it.
Things To Do, Gifts To Buy
This is one lady you are going to have to woo with gifts. She expects them, wants them, and enjoys them, so you might as well cave in and buy them for her. She looks stunning and regal in purple, so choose something in that color, whether it be a lace teddy, bra and panty set or drop-dead, killer nightie. She will also sparkle in gold--try getting her a classy knit sweater shot through with golden threads that shimmer in the evening light, then take her to a four star restaurant for dinner so she can wear it. Surprise her with an overnight stay at a rustic hotel with ornate wooden architecture and antique furniture. Make sure to reserve a room with a roaring fireplace. Or send her two dozen long-stemmed roses (don't even THINK of trying to get away with one dozen), a generous box of imported bittersweet chocolates or a bottle of fine champagne for you both to drink later. Buy her tickets to the opera in New York or Rome (orchestra seats, of course.) If buying her a ring or other jewelry, know that she adores sapphires, the gem ruling her sign. Start saving now! It's true, loving a Leo can be a second career in itself. But she'll adore you for your generosity and will insure you both will have a hell of a lot of fun. So what if the American Express bill is gigantic? Yours will be a life fully enjoyed and a love like no other you could imagine.
Your lioness likes to play games. So, try a serious game of strip poker. Or, if you know each other very well, do a variation on the movie Indecent Proposal. Remember when Demi Moore had to decide whether to take the cool million and bed Robert Redford or stay loyal to Woody Harrelson and give up their dream house? Near the end of the film there is a scene where she and Woody make love on a bed of hundred dollar (or higher) bills. In your own private remake, you are the millionaire, but you don't have to share her with anyone. For fun, strew her bed with lots of crisp, new crumpled dollar bills (if it's ones, not fifties or hundreds, who cares?). Leo women have fertile imaginations and a fabulous sense of drama. She'll adore your little make-believe and beg you to think of more!
Carina
2:00:00 AM
on Saturday, May 13, 2006
Finally, my mom allowed us to treat her to lunch.
The heavy downpour did not deter our spirits.
Lunch or rather, Hi-tea, was in the form of delicious dim sum at Tung Lok's Teahouse@China Square.
Me, BB and mom. We ate so much. " Har Kows" were absolutely delicious!
Random shots (again):
We walked past Don's pie club. How could we resist???
Sheperd's Pie. I love it! MUST.EAT.IT.AGAIN.
The national rope skipper loves it so much that she wants to endorse it!
Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!
Oh. Of course, SarongPartyBoy went as well. He should make comic relief as his full time job.
Carina
3:38:00 PM
on Thursday, May 11, 2006
Some folks pray to the divine, hoping to strike lottery or earn big bucks. Some folks go to the temple to pray for the well being of their family members. Me? I prayed for hope and direction.
After a long absence, i finally went to the temple for a pre-Vesak day prayer session. Maybe i have screwed up my life so badly that i need some sort of " divine intervention"? lol Ok, i am an optimist but just for today, let me indulge a little on self.........idontknowwhatitisanymore.
So how do you define a screwed up life? Actually, my life isnt that bad. I have parents who try their hardest to provide for me and a brother who makes me laugh till the sides of my stomach hurts. I have good times with great friends. Basically, there is really nothing wrong with my life. I know. I am incredibly fortunate.
Why in the hell, despite all the above-mentioned, i still feel so "sad"? Like im moody, trapped andt all i could do is to resign to fate. Yes, coming from me. Resignation to fate isnt me at all.
Ok thats it. I need to detox. I need to get some perspective. I need to go look for a shoulder. I need a hug.
Boy, i am only human. Damn exams.
Oh, Happy Birthday Jo! Welcome to the clubbing phase of life.
Carina
11:14:00 PM
Ahhhhhh i am getting a headache from the econs text i have been reading. Self-inflicted torture.
Food. Think about food. I want to eat sashimi, ginger parfa it, Ben&Jerry's chocolate ice cream, Tiramisu, raspberry creme brulee, nutella, swedish meatballs, pizza with everything and extra olives, Banditto pockett, ricotta and spinach manicotti, Macdonald's apple pie, fried rice, ah ma's assam fish, mom's pumpkin soup, Ah me's chicken soup with lily buds, tom-yum soup, devil's eggs, chocolate cookies, Greek pasta salad with feta cheese, dim sum, soba, pepper and garlic chicken, calamari and sirloin steak-medium with mashed potato.
I want to travel, drink, get a job, shop, go ktv-ing, buy a new camera, go to ah ma's house for dinner more often, go to sentosa, learn how to drive, learn how to roller blade, ice-skate, read the new novels i have bought, have hotpot with friends, enroll in a cooking school, watch Grease- The Musical and meet Michael Buble.
I hate EXAMS.
Carina
1:29:00 AM
又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的
把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
我的决定是对的
Carina
10:17:00 PM
The Night Safari Collage that i "kop-ed" from Nuan-san ( Thanks!).
Watched "MI3" and "When a stranger calls". If you like Tom Cruise enough and interested in watching a typical action spy flick, then MI3 is good enough. The stunts are pretty amazing. "When a stranger calls"... omg. Bad acting, bad plot and im being kind. Dont bother watching it.
Some people just irk the hell out of me. ARGH.
Exams are around the corner. I am starting to feel the pressure of it all.
"Although we’ve come to the end of the road, still I can’t let you go."
Carina
11:47:00 AM
I am no longer a first time voter. What an experience. What a day.
Carina
1:26:00 AM
on Saturday, May 06, 2006
The sea is calm before a storm. Thats the best way to describe my feelings on my preparation for exams now. I just wanna pass and get out of the hell hole and start on the next phase of my life.
In another few hours, i will get to exercise my rights as an adult citizen and vote! Regardless of everything, i am still glad of having a choice to choose. The worrying thing is that we often keep taking and asking for so much from our country; what it can do for us etc. We should learn to give something back ( besides monetary) as well.
Good night.
Carina
4:19:00 AM
To be totally honest, i am having difficulties thinking of what to write for my zoo and night safari experience with Will, Meja and Nuan. When i have a great time, it is very difficult for me to put it down in words because all i remember - feelings. Happiness and warmth.
Friends are splendour things. The 2 lioness.. ... i always have an awesome time just hanging out with them. The crab.... my brother, shrink and best friend.
The zoological " mugshot".
3 lioness infront of a lion's den.
Nuan-san and Utopia. lol
Polar bears with a tan.
The king of jungle and concubines??
The need for a mid afternoon nap. I totally understand that.
Yup. My animal instinct. I always know i have it in me. lol
There will be more pictures to come.
Carina
1:31:00 AM
