on Sunday, January 15, 2006
We are in a no-win situation. The above mentioned is much akin to the dating scenario in Singapore. Love could be replaced and traded like a commodity. If Love is supposedly one of the most sought after things in the world (acc. to some), then why does it seem so easy for some to trade it like a stock on the Nasdaq? Questions like these just make me wanna go bang my head against the wall because it cant be solved like a math question.
Singapore is a modern city (or claims to be) and yet being constrainted by many of traditional thoughts. Why is it that this area of thought has not evolved? Speaking locally, ladies have to act coy or not seem overly interested so as to not appear " desperate" or "needy". Why do we have to do that? Like what my brother said,"
Emotions in the Singapore dating climate is a no-no. Any displays of strong and intense affection towards one you like in Singapore is termed "coming on too strong" or carries the negative connotation of being "overtly and overly aggressive.Instead, being able to find "love" means one has to play incessant mind games so as to heighten the fantasy level in a relationship. One has to constantly suppress how one feels for the other pary so as not to be labelled as 'needy', 'clingy', 'pushy'.". What good does mind games do? In the end, both parties just end up being confused because of all the silent assumptions made.Forget about the right of expression. That concept is dead.
I do not buy into the idea that we should not express ourselves in fear of being labelled. What good does it do us have the ability to feel and not express? It is like being trapped in a tank and not able to come up for air.
My beliefs were shaken to the very core recently. For a while, i had to readjust my whole cognitive process. I started to feel lost. What truth is out there if nothing appears to be what it seems to be?
Not too long ago, one of my friends pointed out that the main problem that i had major difficulties in reconciling my thoughts was due to my expectations and reciprocals. How others might set their standards and what do you expect in return from them.
Oh well. Regardless of everything, I have once again reached the conclusion that i cant bloody please everyone or anyone except myself.
I refuse to be constricted by society's expectations of how i should behave or act. I refuse to be suppressed by incessant nonsensical standards.
I have my own expecations. I cannot take account of what and how others might set theirs because it is out of my control to do so. All i can do is to fufill my own.
For once, i am starting to feel like myself again.
Note: The song that you are hearing (if your speakers are on and my bandwidth is not max out) is by a friend and his band, Crave. The song needs to be remastered and work on but for something to start off with, this isnt bad.
Carina
1:44:00 AM
