Well, in line with my dear old brother's theory of "washing dirty laundry in public", i shall say my piece here. After all, this is my space. * You can get the story from his
blog.- Although i would like to mention that it isnt really all that objective " Personal opinion"."
What he said really happened. I dont like to sugarcoat it or make excuses that my family isnt screwed up because it really is.
However, what i dont appreciate is the part when its so easy to get up and leave. I think i am in a position to make that statement because unlike someone who has the chance to get up and leave for a period of time, regardless of NS or hostel living or one month abroad, i have always been here. I have to endure all the crazy shit that went and still is going on in this household. Not doing anything or mending the broken situations are fine with me. I know it is difficult to try. But how about lending a lil support for your baby sister? Why is it always so easy for you to get up and leave?
I am really being objective here and the parents have issues but the family works in a unit. You have issues too. Just because you might not wanna listen to them doesnt make it disappear. I hate to say it but mom has some truth in it. Whenever a gal shows up, you just ignore your family. The beauty of life lies in the changes but why didnt that happen with you? We spent so much time talking about that problem. It really saddens me that the memories in your life or may i quote " the nicest times of my life" are always filled with them. Again, it doesnt help to put your family in the backburner or pretend that it doesnt exist. I count myself very lucky time over time that i have a brother who i can have fun and laugh with. Unfortunately, that thought only occurs to me everytime when you are fresh from a bad relationship. Maybe its my idea of trying to introduce my friends to inject a lil more color into our lives. I dont know what is the problem here and i cant pin point.
Our parents havent been getting it easy too. That thought and you keeps me hanging on sometimes. I love this family dearly but I am only one person. There are only so much i can take in my life. I am close to the breaking point several times. Apparently people like to come into my life, make themselves important and leave.
You want the truth? I prolly screwed up my entire school year because for 365 days, i kept worrying about this family. And my personal life isnt working out to the way i want it to be. Im so tired of smiling and act happy when i just want to run away. I am so bloody tired of caring for people and always find myself alone. People who i thought, cared for me too.
Well after writing all that junk, if anyone wants to leave, just go. Im always getting used to having the doors shut at my face.
Carina
1:30:00 AM
