on Friday, December 02, 2005
I am supposed to be prepping for Thumper now but somehow i am just not in the partying mood tonight. Getting intoxicated, yes but dancing and inhaling of smoke? No. Im so sorry folks. I shouldnt bail like that but i just dont wanna be a party pooper. Chrystal, if you read this before heading to India, im really sorry for being a no-show. Hope you will have a safe trip and a hell of a fun time there. Get the hotties!!! :)
Its amazing how fast my mood changes. I could be feeling like im a million bucks to being stuck in the pit of a hell hole in 1 second. I am troubled, i guess. My life seems so perfect from the outside but truth be told, i feel like a spectator looking in from the outside sometimes. Its moment like these that i like to go clubbing so i can get wasted and just sleep it off. Not having to think about anything. Yes, escapism. Hey, everyone is an escapist in their own ways. I merely just choose alcohol as my poison. But not tonight.
Tonight, nothing will help. I could be stuck in a room with hundreds of people and still feel extremely alone. I could drink my life away and it wont help a single bit.
You really dont get it, do you? You have no idea. Either way, i am in a no win situation.
And i have just turned into one of those girls that i hate.
Well, i figure, everyone needs some yellow-card moments in their lives. You commit a foul, get benched and play again at the next match.
Consider this my yellow card moment.
Carina
9:23:00 PM
