on Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Mr Ram gave us a much needed pep talk today. He reminded me of my plan. Time for me to focus and get back into the game. I will try my darnest.
Thought i would share this with you guys. I thought it was hilarious. Thanks Regan! * Are you doing the usual for Xmas? Pictures please ;)* I like carrot sticks.:(
Holiday Eating tips1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on aholiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmasspirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leaveimmediately. Go next door, where they're serving rumballs.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Likefine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's evenrarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it anyother time of year but now. So drink up! Who caresthat it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not asif you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic orsomething. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me.Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes.Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're madewith skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Whybother? It's like buying a sports car with anautomatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in aneffort to control your eating. The whole point ofgoing to a Christmas party is to eat other people'sfood for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise betweennow and New Year's. You can do that in January whenyou have nothing else to do. This is the time for longnaps, which you'll need after circling the buffettable while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and thatvat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at abuffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in theshape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can beforebecoming the center of attention. They're like abeautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind,you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have aslice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, havetwo apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. Whenelse do you get to have more than one dessert? LaborDay?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loadedwith the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid itat all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when youleave the party or get up from the table, you haven'tbeen paying attention. Reread tips; start over, buthurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways,chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming"WOO HOO what a ride!"
Carina
11:36:00 PM
