on Thursday, September 25, 2003
Been a couple of days since I last updated my blog. Okay more than a couple of days! Give me a break here! Stop whining and get a life. LOL Thank God I am not writing a column. Definitely get fired or SUED!
I am still not sure if anyone is reading this but I am going to pretend that I am the most eloquent and sophisticated writer ever to grace this planet.
Thats right! Step aside Tolkien!!!! Imagine my name in BOLD on some book cover will be pretty cool. The New York Times Bestseller! Or The World's Best Book ever!!!
Okay okay i am back in reality now. (Sits up and wipes away the goo on my face)
Not sure if you guys realise this but the reason why i always write about crap is because i have no life. Thats right. No life. Zero. Zlich. Nada. SO PLEASE PEOPLE!! CALL ME!!!! DRAG ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!
Its been raining forever! The day that i actually want to get off my big fat ass to go swimming but it has to be rain all day. I think someone up there must be playing a joke on me. But its nice though to just sit at home on my gigantic behind and type away on my non-exsistence social life. Nice to hear pitter platter. I love rain. Makes the world "cleaner" in a spiritual way. Dont think the rain water is very clean nowadays. ACID RAIN. But dont have to rain on the day i want to go swimming right?? Not fair!!!!!!!!! I wanted to be slim. Nope i have to be fat. I want to be smart. Nope, have to come off like an idiot. Now i just want to go swimming!!! ARGH !!!Okay how is all this relevant? Well i want to be slim. And when i am slim, im happy and i can pay more attention in class and become smarter. Thats why i want to go swimming the first place. But no no. Have to RAIN today. The day that Miss Highness AKA me choose to skip class and go swimming. Nah im happy with the way i am. Exercise for the purpose of matching my calories intake.
Yes i wrote crap in the last paragraph because to refresh on the last 2 paragraphs, i have no life. Confused? So am i. Most days, i just dont know what i am rumbling about. I dont know what i a m looking for nowadays. No direction is a better notion for my thoughts.
Most of the times we are so caught up with the pace of our lives that we forgot what we were doing. Maybe thats my excuse for being lazy. Just wanting to sit back and relax all the damn time. LOL Did i mention that im born in the year of Porky? My boyfriend calls me Pork-er! Idiot!! I thought guys have a "Danger" sensor. Kinda like if your girlfriend ask you the inevitable "Am i fat" question. Guys immediately think " What is the right answer?" OR "Would she still sleep with me if i tell her the truth?"
A tip for the entire male population: When your girlfriend/Wife/Lover/Mother/Daughter ask you the "question", escape from scene immediately. Excuses to use varies from " Need to go to the gents baby" to "Oh Soccer is on!" Depends on the timing of the day of course. This is because........AHEM are you ready for it? No answer is right. Lets put the general white lies (She is really BIG but you say that she is slim) aside, no answers will get you off the hook.
For instance.......
Man:"No baby you look absolutely amazing!"
Woman:" How amazing?"
Man:" As amazing as the Amazing race?"
Woman:" Oh so now im just as amazing as the TV show huh?"
Man: No sweetie pie. As amazing as the invention of planes. Dont you think its amazing how planes can get you anywhere?"
Woman:" Planes? Jumbo Jet or Concorde?"
Man:" Concorde of course!"
Woman: "Oh so now you are going to put me in retirement huh? You want to start flying other planes is it?!"
See what i mean? Never a right answer. Hate to say this but almost 99.999999 % of the female population will probably react in this mystical manner. I as charged has been guilty of this crime. However i dont go "Do i look fat?". I always go "I am fat". Which is the truth but somehow will make me feel better when my boyfriend says "No dear. You look fine."
Hmm maybe i should start writing about female perspectives sometime. However it will be a long and tedious effort. Another topic for another time.
Ta-Ta
Signing off,
.....Her highness.....
Carina
3:02:00 PM
